Have Fun!!

Jokes
*    I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
*    When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting? …. When she starts with “My husband said…”
*    One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me?
*    Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
*    A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? …………………. stupid of course, there are no others
*    What’s the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.
*    When god created the men he was only kidding
*    Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? …………….. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!
*    Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN
*    When you harass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.
*    There are three girls in the sixth grade … A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops? ………… The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!
*    If I’d had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!
*    How to keep an idiot entertained *press down*………………………………… How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
*    Can I have your picture? ……… I save natural disasters
*    Of course… If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.
*    You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don’t you like pizza?!
*    Why is a woman 20.000 $ worth and a man only 2$? A woman has a milk factory, a mussel farm and a sawmill; a man a sausage, 2 bitter balls and a little pot of mayonnaise
*    Bigamy…………..What is the penalty for bigamy? …………… Two mothers-in-law!
*    What does it say on the wrapping of the Morning-after pil??? ……first some screwing before use
*    Farmer seeks woman with tractor. Please add photo of tractor.
*    Do you think I can live for another fourty years? … Do you drink? … No! … Do you smoke? … No! … Do you visit the whores? … No! ……. Why do you want to live another forty years?
*    Dialogue between 2 undertakers. “Do you have sometimes a dead period?”
*    There are numerous restaurants where you can eat Chinese. But it does not help a bit. There are more every day.
*    Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck? “Of course, why would Friday be an exception?”

  • Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. “Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause.” 

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